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Friday, June 26, 2015

Pope Loses Mind, Thinks He’s Michael Bloomberg!

Global Warming? Gender Equality? Gun Control in America? Middle East Politics? There is no limit or extent of world issues this new leader will take on and combat. 

And just who are we talking about here?

Why it’s the POPE!

Somehow the Pope has become bored with just one religion; he’s gone and joined a number of new ones.

First is the Global Warming Cult. You are either a Believer or a Denier. There is no middle ground and if you don’t believe then you are going to HELL!

Then there is the recognition of the bunch of militant Arabs on Welfare that currently occupy the Gaza Strip. They are now officially recognized as "The State of Palestine" by the Vatican. Pope Francis believes that the world should believe what he believes.

This is starting to look and sound eerily familiar.

So, has anybody actually SEEN Michael Bloomberg, the former Crazed Mayor of New York City, lately? Has he gotten a supreme make-over and somehow managed the old “Switcher-oo” and so is now living disguised as The Pope? If he has managed to pull off one of the greatest body-switches in the history of the world, then all these crazy actions and announcements make perfect sense. 

The Pope is actually Michael Bloomberg! It's just that simple. 

If not, Pope Francis has sure gone crazy.

And then there is the people who manufacture armaments and weapons, GUNS to be more accurate. They are hypocrites to call themselves Christians now.  This would mean that, since the United States is the world’s largest munitions manufacturer, an industry, by the way, driven by the U.S. Government’s demand for salable arms for export to foreign markets, that almost half the population of the United States shouldn't call themselves Christians now. That is, even if they wanted to.

Someone call Mr. Bloomberg right now, I’ll bet someone will say he’s “out of town and can’t be reached’. But WE know the truth.

Pope Francis and Michael Bloomberg are one and the same.

Ok, I have no concrete proof and I know Bloomberg officially left office Jan 2014 while Francis was already the Pope since the previous March but SOMEHOW Bloomberg did it and here’s why: Since he was no longer the Crazed Mayor of the largest city in the United States, who would listen to his crack-pot rantings now? Who on God’s Green Earth would listen to him if they didn’t HAVE TO listen to him like when he was Mayor? The television stations had to broadcast him and the newspapers had to cover him and all the substantial public workforce that the city of New York employs needed his good will because their jobs depended on it but once he left office, that's all over. Without the title of Mayor, Bloomberg is just another guilty rich person spouting off on things he has no business spouting off on. 

Enter The Church. Love the new Pope or hate the new Pope, you’re stuck with him until he kicks the bucket. He can say just about anything, do anything and everybody has to clap and cheer in public. THIS was too much for Bloomberg to pass up. This was the job he was always meant to have!

Oh come on now, it's not so far fetched as it seems. If you know anything about the public rantings of the former CM of NYC, it's not like Mr. Bloomberg has never imaged what it was like to BE the Pope, right? In many ways he already thought he was.

And like most crazy people, he didn’t wait for it or work for it, he just took it. Perhaps Bloomberg, leaving a body-double in his place in New York, flew to Buenos Aires, had the leader of the Argentine church kidnapped, bought off the Argentine government for short money and eventually rigged the election for Pope by stuffing $100,000,00 bills into offering boxes in all the voting eligible Bishop's church communities. Once ensconced in the Papal role, his body double hands over the reigns of NYC to new mayor and aspiring junior crazy person Bill de Blasio and nobody is the wiser. 

Stranger things have happened. 

So what’s next for our Global Do-Gooder? I’m surprised Francis hasn’t gone after the smokers yet. Yes, let’s get THOSE PEOPLE too. Will the Pope propose a world-wide cigarette tax? How about a “Tobacco isn’t Christian” campaign?

And those people who cross the street while the "Don't Walk" sign is lighted? Yes, those Jay-Walkers must be pointed out and SHAMED! And driving while texting! Oh, and all that trash left up in the Himalayas by all those mountain climbers, get them! And somebody must determine the morality of driving an UBER car!

Damn, the whole world is going to Hell.

Good thing we have Michael Bloomber...ah…I mean, Pope Francis around to help.

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