Victim Nation Rallies For Treyvon

People came out by…well, by the hundreds today to rally for victims everywhere. You see, here in the U.S., minorities are victims.

Whether they expect a check or a well-placed EBT voucher, victims everywhere rallied today to call into question an act of judicial privilege given to… a Hispanic guy.

“How dare someone claim the right to self-defense in America” declared one victim of “The System”.

“This time it was Treyvon who was killed savagely beating a neighborhood watch member, tomorrow it could be your son!” was heard by another.

Across this nation, victimhood was on display for all us oppressors to contemplate and our victims can only hope that we all will come away with a sense that we have nothing to fear from these victimized peoples, who’s only motivation is justice, marching with their fists in the air and who have been randomly smashing storefronts, burning cars and attacking people in the streets in an effort to share their victimhood with others all the while yelling “No Justice, No Peace!”.

 It just fills you with the spirit of understanding and guilt doesn’t it?

"We are going to make more victims before this is all over." yelled one victim sickened by his own victimhood.

So since a jury agreed with George Zimmerman’s claim of self-defense in the shooting of Trayvon Martin the logical thing to do for these victims and the victims supporters who currently occupy the White House and the Department of Justice is clear; Go after “Stand Your Ground” laws everywhere. After all, they have nothing to do with this case.

But armed citizens defending themselves is a BIG problem.

So big that the President of the United States and the Head of the Department of Justice have to drop what they’re doing; Driving the country to the Poor House and running guns to Mexico respectively, to address a growing problem for minority victims everywhere.  

“We can’t have people just shooting people who are attacking them!” pontificated the scholarly Mr. Holder.

“What will become of criminals if we can just shoot them for pounding our heads into the pavement?” says he. “America is better than that!”

For President Obama’s sake, he has a different perspective.

“I’m a victim too!” Says Mr. Obama.

“I remember growing up a victim. That’s why I smoked so much pot and didn’t study much in college to the point where I won’t ever let them release my grades.” confided the President.

“But being a victim didn't stop me, in fact it helped a lot and now I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to let some half-white guy get away with anything under my watch!”

You tell ‘em Mr. President.