Eric Holder Clears Eric Holder of Wrong Doing

                                                                                                June 3, 2013

 

U.S. Department of Justice
950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20530-0001

Press Release:

The U.S. Justice Department recently got together with Eric Holder who also chaired the meeting and after careful and balanced deliberations it was ruled that Eric Holder is blameless in the death of a U.S. boarder agent, Brian Terry, and numerous Mexican citizens in his engineering of the present administrations absurd idea of trying to alter U.S. public opinion on gun ownership by allowing American arms to “Walk” across the border into Mexico and having them "find" their way into the hands of murderous drug cartel thugs and that these arms showing up at a number of murder scenes including agent Terry’s was all just an unfortunate coincidence.

 It is clear to the Justice Department and Eric Holder that he had no knowledge of this operation and therefore could not perjure himself when he faced questions regarding this secret operation from Congress.

Eric Holder also found that he, Eric Holder, is not culpable in the tapping of phone lines of members of the National Press and of initiating possible criminal charges towards them. Mr. Holder does acknowledge that his need to locate the sources of unauthorized information leaks from the White House absolutely trumps the U.S. Constitution but that he didn’t know about the wire taps in the first place because he had recused himself from the whole matter ages ago, didn’t you get the memo?

Eric Holder’s Justice Department also declared that there was no dereliction of duty in the failure to prosecute the New Black Panther Party for voter intimidation during the 2008 presidential election since one should not expect Mr. Holder to prosecute “his people” regardless of their perceived, filmed and widely distributed actions. Mr. Holder asks “Haven’t black folks been persecuted enough in this country for doing wrong things? Isn’t it time we just look the other way?”

And finally the U.S. Justice Department under Eric Holder further determines that Mr. Holder shall not be held accountable for any new claims of wrongful conduct, obstruction, perjury or of failing to provide evidence to Congress for any future misdeeds that the American people have yet to discover or that he has yet to commit.

This concludes the inquiry into Justice Holder’s conduct.

Send this to all the media outlets please.